Think on These Things?

You Don’t Have to Believe Your Thoughts

 

 

Are you? ….. “an expert at making myself miserable by taking a neutral thought, turning it into a stressful one, and then spinning that stressful thought into an even more stressful story—one with little or no basis in reality.

….. this is…  “storytelling dukkha” (dukkha)  (the word that the Buddha used to describe suffering, stress, ,,,and just plain unhappiness).”

“…..here are two neutral, fact-based thoughts:”

“A friend is coming over today.”

“I have an appointment with a new doctor next week.”

“Each of these thoughts states a fact, free of emotional content. But then, driven by worry and anxiety over; … health, …. turn them into stressful thoughts:

“My friend’s visit won’t go well.”

“The doctor’s appointment will be a disaster.”…….then to go on with the storytelling…

“My friend will stay much longer than I’m able to visit, but I won’t have the nerve or the discipline to tell her I need to lie down. Then it will take me days to recover and I’ll be mad at myself for not speaking up.”

“The doctor won’t believe how sick I am. He might even think it’s all in my head. And even if he does believe me, he won’t want the hassle of having to deal with a complex case with no easy fix.”

“As Buddhist teachers like to say, the suffering is in the stories.”‘

“Byron Katie discovered a system to stop the suffering. 

……..At the outset, it helps to recognize that the mind is going to think what it’s going to think. Trying to control the thoughts that pop into your mind is a fruitless endeavor. What matters to your well-being is not which thoughts arise but how you respond to them. If you can learn to respond skillfully, you’re much more likely to keep a stressful thought from turning into a full-blown stressful story.”

“Here are Byron Katie’s four questions—questions to ask yourself when you recognize that you’re caught in the net of a stressful thought:

1. Is the thought true?

2. Am I absolutely sure that it’s true?                                                                                               Byron Katie

3. How do I feel when I think the thought?

4. Who would I be without the thought?”

“Before addressing Byron Katie’s fifth step—the turnaround—”…”apply her four questions to the two stressful thoughts ….”

 …..”It’s such a relief to know that I don’t have to believe my thoughts!”

© 2013 Toni Bernhard www.tonibernhard.com

 

To read more about Katie Byron’s work, and Toni’s use of it, including the turnaround fifth step,  please go here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201310/you-don-t-have-believe-your-thoughts