Being Free

Smile! You’re at the best site ever for Being Free!


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How to Get Happy

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to the size of your bank account.

We’re not suggesting that you can reach a permanent state called “happiness” and remain there. But there are many ways to swerve off the path of anxiety, anger, frustration, and sadness into a state of happiness once or even several times throughout the day. Here are 20 ideas to get you started. Choose the ones that work for you. If tuning out the news or making lists will serve only to stress you further, try another approach.

1. Practice mindfulness. Be in the moment. Instead of worrying about your checkup tomorrow while you have dinner with your family, focus on the here and now — the food, the company, the conversation.

2. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, Irvine, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 percent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 percent.

3. Go to sleep. We have become a nation of sleep-deprived citizens. Taking a daily nap or getting into bed at 8 p.m. one night with a good book — and turning the light out an hour later — can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

4. Hum along. Music soothes more than the savage beast. Studies find music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness — the same parts activated by food or sex. It’s also relaxing. In one study older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery had significantly lower heart rates, blood pressure, and cardiac workload (that is, their heart didn’t have to work as hard) as those who had silent surgery.

5. Declutter. It’s nearly impossible to meditate, breathe deeply, or simply relax when every surface is covered with papers and bills and magazines, your cabinets bulge, and you haven’t balanced your checkbook in six months. Plus, the repetitive nature of certain cleaning tasks — such as sweeping, wiping, and scrubbing — can be meditative in and of itself if you focus on what you’re doing.

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary and that you don’t enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you’re feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

7. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks to help you organize your thoughts and calm your anxiety. Checking off each item provides a great sense of fulfillment.

8. Do one thing at a time. Edward Suarez, Ph.D., associate professor of medical psychology at Duke, found that people who multitask are more likely to have high blood pressure. Take that finding to heart. Instead of talking on the phone while you fold laundry or clean the kitchen, sit down in a comfortable chair and turn your entire attention over to the conversation. Instead of checking e-mail as you work on other projects, turn off your e-mail function until you finish the report you’re writing. This is similar to the concept of mindfulness.

9. Garden. Not only will the fresh air and exercise provide their own stress reduction and feeling of well-being, but the sense of accomplishment that comes from clearing a weedy patch, watching seeds turn into flowers, or pruning out dead wood will last for hours, if not days.

10. Tune out the news. For one week go without reading the newspaper, watching the news, or scanning the headlines online. Instead, take a vacation from the misery we’re exposed to every day via the media and use that time for a walk, a meditation session, or to write in your journal.

11. Take a dog for a walk. There are numerous studies that attest to the stress-relieving benefits of pets. In one analysis researchers evaluated the heart health of 240 couples, half of whom owned a pet. Those couples with pets had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure levels when exposed to stressors than the couples who did not have pets. In fact, the pets worked even better at buffering stress than the spouses did.

12. Scent the air. Research finds that the benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. In one study people exposed to rosemary had lower anxiety levels, increased alertness, and performed math computations faster. Adults exposed to lavender showed an increase in the type of brain waves that suggest increased relaxation. Today you have a variety of room-scenting methods, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, potpourri, and scented candles.

13. Ignore the stock market. Simply getting your quarterly 401(k) statement can be enough to send your blood pressure skyrocketing. In fact, Chinese researchers found a direct link between the daily performance of the stock market and the mental health of those who closely followed it. Astute investors know that time heals most financial wounds, so give your investments time — and give yourself a break.

14. Visit a quiet place. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today’s frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house and make it your secret getaway.

15. Volunteer. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.

16. Spend time alone. Although relationships are one of the best antidotes to stress, sometimes you need time alone to recharge and reflect. Take yourself out to lunch or to a movie, or simply spend an afternoon reading, browsing in a bookstore, or antiquing.

17. Walk mindfully. You probably already know that exercise is better than tranquilizers for relieving anxiety and stress. But what you do with your mind while you’re walking can make your walk even more beneficial. In a study called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, researchers divided 135 people into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked briskly, group two at a slow pace, and group three at a slow pace while practicing “mindfulness,” a mental technique to bring about the relaxation response, a physiological response in which the heart rate slows and blood pressure drops. This group was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two, and to visualize the numbers in their mind. Group four practiced a form of tai chi, and group five served as the control, changing nothing about their lives. The group practicing mindfulness showed significant declines in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves. Overall they experienced the same stress-reducing effects of the brisk walkers. Better yet, the effects were evident immediately.

18. Give priority to close relationships. One study of more than 1,300 men and women of various ages found that those who had a lot of supportive friends were much more likely to have healthier blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar metabolism, and stress hormone levels than those with two or fewer close friends. Women, and to a lesser extent men, also seemed to benefit from good relationships with their parents and spouses. Studies also find that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are three to five times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have feelings of love, connection, and community.

19. Take care of the soul. In study after study, actively religious people are happier and cope better with crises, according to David Myers, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. For many people faith provides a support community, a sense of life’s meaning, feelings of ultimate acceptance, a reason to focus beyond yourself, and a timeless perspective on life’s woes. Even if you’re not religious, a strong spirituality may offer similar benefits.

20. Count your blessings. People who pause each day to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives (their health, friends, family, freedom, education, etc.) experience a heightened sense of well-being.

http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/20-simple-ways-to-get-happy/


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Fierce Grace

This is an important movie, and the full movie is shown here.  Ram Dass leads one to contemplate aging. Ram Dass wrote the best seller BE HERE NOW.


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Oneness in Being

http://www.onenessofbeing.org/main.html


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How To Break Free………. From Being Stuck

“I felt “stuck” at a corporate job. I had a cubicle. I had the fluorescent lights. I had the guy in the cubicle next to mine who would make that signal with his finger and cheek whenever a girl walked by that he wanted a blowjob from. I had the boss that could make me cry. I played online chess all day long. I had the girls I had crushes on. I had the stuff I was doing on the side that nobody knew about. But I was stuck.

(we can all relate)

In the morning I couldn’t get out of bed. Light would shine in. 7am. 8am. 9am. “here’s some coffee”. 10am. Finally, I’d fall over onto the floor. Dog hairs. Cat hairs everywhere. Ugh. All over me. I walked to work past porn shops all over Times Square. I went in one. Another story. I was three hours late to work. Many days. I was S.T.U.C.K. I could figure out what that acronym means but you get it.

A lot of people get stuck. They don’t like where they are at. They don’t know how to move forward. They don’t know how to shake things up. I don’t know if this is true but one time a friend of mine told me (he got his PHd at the age of 15 so I believed everything he told me about science) that the way Bic makes lighters is by putting all the parts in a machine and then the machine shakes until the parts somehow all fit together into lighters and the lighters start falling out.

I don’t know if this is true. But I love the idea.

A lot of people are stuck. I know this because I get emails that start, “I’m stuck.” So how to get “unstuck”. Put all your parts in a machine. Start shaking.

Even when I was stuck I couldn’t accurately say I had specific complaints.  I had an ok job, good boss, ok colleagues, easy responsibilities. Summers were easy when everyone took a vacation (and on that note: how bad are vacations? Much better when you get to sit around and do nothing than go off to Hawaii or Alaska, battle airplanes, hotels, “hiking” (ugh!), feeding kids, etc).  So what was my problem?

Nothing was my problem. It’s ok to be stuck. Nobody will ever blame you for it. But you’ll get less and less happy. Then things start to happen that you didn’t intend, in order to get you unstuck. Maybe you have an affair to mix things up. Maybe you steal a little from the office. Maybe you start to cut corners at work because you’ve been there long enough you know you can let things slide. You start gossiping too much about the other people. You begin the arduous process of backstabbing to rise up in a world that will tease you into thinking that’s how you get unstuck….

…..But it isn’t. And being stuck has its consequences.

Here’s the ten step guide to being unstuck:

A) List your routine. Don’t leave a single detail out. When you are stuck it means you have a rigid routine that rarely changes. Here was part of my routine: Wake up, brush teeth, wait for cold subway, ride subway, get a donut and coffee, go to cubicle without anyone seeing me, log onto email, read stuff on the web, play a game of chess, make my list of things to do, start programming…flirt…gossip…kiss ass…..lunch….coffee break….chess break….dinner….shoot pool…, etc. I had about 50 things on my “Routine List”. Put 60 if you can.

B) Change one thing:  in the routine. The idea is to only change one thing at a time. Don’t be too hard on yourself. One thing. And don’t do the exact opposite. Just avoid the item in the routine you want to change. Maybe, don’t go straight to work. Go to the library. Or wake up one hour early and read a book. Or jog around the block even if you have never jogged before. Or don’t read your emails this morning. Or completely stop gossiping. Or sit with different people at lunch. Over time, how many things on your routine list can you change? Half? All of it? Make it a daily challenge. Break your record. Break my record.

C) Instead of writing a things-to-do list, write a “things I did list” at the end of the day. In fact, start to reverse your routine. Read emails at the end of the day. Have dinner for breakfast. Breakfast for dinner.

D) Find one thing you were passionate about as a kid: spend an hour researching what has happened since. For instance, I was passionate about Jacques Cousteau for about a month as a kid. What ever happened to that guy? I couldn’t tell you right now if he was dead or alive or buried in some sex scandal.  He put out a bunch of books about what goes on underwater. What’s happened since? Why do this? You were a kid for 18 years. There were probably many things that you were passionate about. Even if it was as silly as some cartoon show. Each thing you find out about is something new you learn now. And you might find things you are still passionate about.

E) Network: Every day find one person to reach out to and stay in touch with. An old high school friend. A guy you randomly spoke to on the subway. The guy on the elevator. Go out to lunch with this person. Learn about his life. Interview him. You need to find out what other routines are like. Maybe someone will give you an idea you haven’t thought of. We are all very very afraid to break out of our routines. I am also. I recently agreed to do a media appearance simply because I was afraid if I said “no” then the people there would not like me. Claudia begged me not to do it. I did it anyway. She was right. I was afraid to break out of my routine. But networking that day would’ve probably put me more in touch with people who liked me than doing that media appearance did. Again, return the email from 2005 that you never returned. Write a letter to your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss and tell him what you really think about the company’s strategy in Kansas.

F) Create. I can tell by the emails I get that most people would rather create something than be a part of the robotic routine. How can you create if you have no time or if you have never done it before? Simple! Don’t worry about either of those things. On the subway write a 4 line poem. Buy a set of watercolors in the drug store and finger paint for ten minutes before you go to sleep. Don’t write a things to do list or a things you did list. Write a “things I wish I did today” list. Make up stuff for that list. I wish a UFO picked me up, took me to Andromeda, and then took me home for dinner. Its your wish list for the day that just happened. It’s all over. So you can wish for anything. It didn’t happen. You are making stuff up. You’re creating.

Here’s another thing: follow someone. I love doing this! Pick a random person and just follow them for fifteen minutes. You’re an evil spy! Then you can see their routine. Make sure they don’t see you follow them……

(don’t get arrested)

G) Daily Practice. I’m a broken record already. Here’s why the Daily Practice I recommend works: (note: what this is my personal belief about how the world and universe is set up. You don’t have to believe it. But I know it works for me). I firmly believe we have four bodies and most of the time we are neglecting at least 2 or 3 of them if not all 4. If you neglect your physical body, you start to have stomach disorders, you get sick more frequently, you eventually die younger or at least have a painful, unpleasant life. Guess what!? The same thing happens if you neglect your emotional body. Or mental body. Or spiritual body.

And it’s even bigger than that. In your physical body (in all 4) there’s blood that hooks everything up. If the blood is not working, oxygen is not getting to the different parts of your body. You might have to breathe faster then, or you might breathe irregularly, or worse: if oxygen doesn’t get to the heart or the brain then you have a heart attack or stroke. If oxygen doesn’t get properly to your cells you get cancer. The same thing happens in all four bodies. BUT, it’s not only that: there’s a blood that connects up each body. If they aren’t all in sync then that blood flow starts to break down.

I know people don’t care about all four bodies. They say to me, “I love the idea muscle idea”. Or, “I like your thoughts but don’t really think much about spirituality.” If ALL FOUR BODIES are not in harmony with each other then they being to break down. Then they start letting crappy people into their lives. Or they start being unable to execute on good ideas. Or they get sick. Whatever. Many people don’t like some words. Like “spiritual”. Call it something else then.

And don’t believe me at all on this. I’m making it all up after all. But I know, for me, this is what works. I can’t break out of a routine, any routine, unless I am following this advice. So I know it works for me. And I know it works for the people who read that blog post a year ago because I get their emails. I’ve gotten well over 1000 emails on how people’s lives have changed. I’m not saying this because I am trying to sell you anything. I’m not selling anything at all. In fact, better for me to “succeed” if less people follow my advice.  But whatever, it works for me.

H) Buy ALL My Books. Haha. I’m just kidding. I just told you I’m not selling anything. But, seriously, buy my last book.

I) What Are You Afraid Of?  Sometimes a “routine” is a person. I wake up..did she write me?…its 11am…has she called?…did she say she loved me yesterday?…how come she didn’t make plans yet for this weekend with me…she said she would be here at 7 but she hasn’t even called and its 8…etc. Maybe this routine is particular to me. But ask: why might I have a routine like that (in the past). List your reasons: fear of being alone. A parent telling me I was disgusting when I was youger. Experiences of other women cheating if its 8 and they said 7.

Fear that I will “never meet someone like her again” (a statement which is always said but never true). Sexual obsession. Love addiction. On an on. You break the routine by being aware of the fears: I’ll never get a job this good again. I’ll fail as an entrepreneur. I’ll run out of money and have to move. I don’t know any rich people to help me. On and on. There’s excuse after excuse of why you shouldn’t break your routine.

List all of those excuses. Think about them. Think of the opposite (“well, I’ve always met a girl within six months after a big breakup so I will probably meet one again” or, “I haven’t lived in a homeless shelter yet so odds are I won’t this time.”

But I can’t change them!? You might say. “I really want this girl!” Or..”I really might go broke!”  That’s ok. Think them.

Here’s how you wither them away, like the water against a rock metaphor:

  •  i. become aware of the excuses.
  • ii. figure out why they exist. What part of your psychological timeline do they come from.
  • iii. where in your body do you feel pain when you think of them. Just think about that.
  • iv. What’s the reverse of that fear. I really had to say to myself, “I will meet a woman I will fall in love with if I leave this girl”. I had to say it over and over. If I didn’t say it, I never would’ve left the girl. I never would’ve met the right girl. If you don’t say it, you won’t believe it. I had to say, “if I start a company I won’t go broke.”
  • v. Visualize now what you just said in part “iv”. Lie down. Put your hands by your side. Take ten deep breaths. And really visualize the situation. You will meet the girl. Your business will be a success.

You might say, “that’s sort of new agey”. Ok. Don’t do it then. All I’m saying is: this is how I broke my routines. All of them. Every time. Even micro-routines.

Then repeat from “i” tomorrow.

I said ten things but I gave nine. I broke my routine of doing “Ten ways to do X”. But that’s ok. Oh wait, here’s Letter “J”) Read this post again tomorrow.

I eventually climbed out of bed and told my boss I quit. He said, “can you please wait until I get back from vacation in 3 weeks.” But I said no and sent in my resignation. I eventually stopped calling back “the girl” when it was clear she didn’t like me. I eventually stopped gossiping about the people who clearly hated me. I never ended up in a homeless shelter despite repeated attempts for the universe to put me there.

Waking up at 7 am, lying there until 10am. The sunlight coming in and filling the room when everyone was busy doing their routine and I was too afraid to move. Sometimes I’m still too afraid  to move. But sometimes the good thing about too much sunlight is that eventually it leads to an entirely new day.”

by

 http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2012/02/how-to-break-free-from-being-stuck/


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What’s Next for Seniors

English: This hand-colored print shows a man a...

English: This hand-colored print shows a man aging every decade from infancy to 100 years-old. Verses at the bottom accompany the drawings at each stage of life. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Retirement

Retirement (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Coaching for Elders in transition and for Care Givers

We don’t know how long we will live, but the capacity for change is a vital resilience skill. As we age, new opportunities open for us and new challenges may confront us. The continuance of your life’s contribution should not end with career retirement, personal mobility issues, or the achievement of a specific age. In this specific time of your life’s journey, let us help you or someone you love, honor themselves, celebrate their depth of wisdom, and continue to reach the full dimension of the gifts yet to be given.

Coaching can assist you with your next life choices to “strategically age”, reconnecting core values that truly are your guiding principles, while discarding those that make you non-congruent with your internal gifts. Strategic aging is conscious living, the transition to living in synchronization with your core beliefs and the choices you have yet to make. Our coaching will help you end the cycle of ‘I should have’ or ‘why don’t I’? Together, we will address these areas, creating your ‘strategic aging’ life:

  • Clarify the issues & opportunities facing you now
  • Define a true description of your final outcome & the time period for fulfillment
  • Identify competent resources you may need for complete fulfillment
  • Honor those values that are still guiding principles and shed those that do not serve you
  • Acknowledge your flexibility along the road to your final achievement
  • With our assistance in your transition, you can design your ‘strategic age life’ without guilt.
What’s Next? Continuing Life’s Journey…

All of us have progressed on our journey, having families, pursuing academic or professional success, becoming political advocates, assuming social responsibility; and, assuring environmental safety for future generations. Along this journey your outlook may have shifted or radically changes from those you held in family conventions or acquired by association. So what’s next?

The continuance of your life’s contribution should not end with career or military retirement, end of child rearing, personal mobility issues, or the achievement of a specific age. We invite you to realize your ‘what’s next’ with us.

  • How will this resolution (promise) bring meaningful change to my life?
  • Are there external resources you will need to help achieve this objective?
  • If others are involved, what competency or skills do they need to help you?
  • Is the time frame you’ve established truly reasonable for your lifestyle?
  • What are your fallback plans in the event your pursuit does not proceed exactly as planned?
  • If this resolution is a larger community movement, are you certain you have the staying power for efforts this significant?
Services & Benefits – Transforming Dreams into Achievements

… Coaching provides services for the entire aging process, arriving to mid-life, returning to the job market, defining second careers, assisting Elders in transition, coaching family members, and residence staff to be loving Care Givers. The benefits of coaching transform dreams of any life chapter into real achievements you can be proud to live with. Many people have used our coaching to explore and achieve results in the following areas:

  • Too Young to Retire-Defining the Next Chapter of your Life
  • Exploring Your Next Career Choice
  • Endorsing the Third Age & Sage-ism
  • Contributing in Civic Engagement-The Sage Mentor
  • Assisting the Care Giver-What do I do now?
  • Residence Staff-Tapping Core Values for Resident Satisfaction & Care
  • Gracious transition to Independent Communities
  • Renewing Elder Contribution in Assisted Living

“The greatest good we can do for others is not to share our riches, but to reveal theirs.” – Gil Atkinson

Home Living Transitions – Continue the Celebration of Your Life

Each of us has created our homes with loving care. This home represents the unique identity of our life’s achievements, community contributions; and, can contain smiling photos of our family’s legacy. The transition to independent or assisted living communities can be overwhelming. We understand the process of activities involved can cause confusion and fear: what to take, what to leave, what to give to relatives, do you keep your own doctors, what activities will you continue or delete, how will you make new friends; along with, creating the identity of your unique life’s contributions. We believe that the transition from a home of 50 or more years should be a continuing celebration of your life. …develope a transition program assisting the Elder and their family in taking the appropriate steps to create and celebrate a new home.

The Care Giver Family—-Are you asking?

    • Are you practicing loving behavior to yourself as well as your Elder?
    • Does your weekly schedule include private time to reconnect to the ‘cosmos’ strengthening your spiritual harmony?
    • In your domain of responsibility, who is going to be responsible for your well being?

      http://www.walksbesidecoaching.com/coaching/caregivers-and-seniors/


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What’s Next?

While some people want to focus on their purpose and goals, others want to focus on what’s next, in order to be most present in the moment.  It doesn’t hurt to have a little help from your friends.

What’s Next? for John

Host Sherry Parrish surprises John at home, by bringing him an entire new wardrobe for him to modernize his look and transform him to be more sociable and outgoing.

 

http://www.rl.tv/video/?videoID=1894466252001#


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Can You Only Be Free in Paris?

Practice Being Present with What’s Now

Instead of Planning What’s Next

Practice Being Present With What’s Now Instead of Planning What’s Next

Mike and I recently returned from three beautiful days in Paris.

Here’s what I noticed about this storied city:

  • There are hundreds and hundreds of cafes where people can be found sitting and relaxing at all hours of the day as though they have nothing else to do and nowhere else to be.
  • People don’t rush getting on and off the Metro like they do in New York City.
  • Everyone seems to eat lots of gluten, dairy, and sugar, yet no one is fat.
  • At restaurants, people sit and look at one another and talk instead of looking at their phones.
  • People walk down the street looking in front of them rather than at their phones.

Here’s what I also found out:

Everyone in Paris takes July and August off. It’s standard for companies to give seven to ten weeks of paid vacation to their employees.

We spoke with some friends who are expanding their business in France, and they told us that it’s completely impossible to move forward with anything business-wise for all of July and August. People are literally offended if you call them during their vacation. It’s sacred time.

Having spent only three days there, and in holiday mode to boot, I’m aware that these pieces of information do not likely cover every aspect of Parisian life and that there may be some grimmer realities going on adjacent to the practices and cultural norms described above.

Nonetheless, these practices and norms do leave me with the following important question:

WTF, America?

Part of the reason I left NYC after living there for six years was that I craved a slower, more intentional lifestyle that didn’t include constantly striving.

I wanted to recalibrate my inner compass for enjoyment and lifestyle rather than achievement.

Yet, here’s my confession:

  • I strive a lot.
  • I have tons of lofty, achievement-oriented goals.
  • I often check my phone and email obsessively.
  • I regularly find myself planning what’s next instead of enjoying what’s now.

Yesterday, I got into a bubble bath at 5:00 p.m., after a day of rain-soaked sightseeing.

It felt profoundly luxurious.

And here’s what I realized:

I work for myself, and I have a solid foundation of residual income that comes in whether I’m working or not.

I can freaking take a bubble bath any time of any day that I want.

Therefore, Mike and I have agreed to incorporate a few choice Parisian lifestyle habits into our own life.

Walking down the street, looking up instead of at my phone, having coffee to stay rather than to-go, stopping to take a bath, and enjoying what’s happening now can all be summed up in one word:

SANE.

No matter where you stand on the old reincarnation question, I think we can all agree that this one life we’re currently living is precious.

So often, we’re too busy going for the next thing, and we forget that our precious life is happening now.

No matter how great our lives are, we can always be more present in them.

Want to add a little flavor of Paris to your life too?

Practice being present with what’s now instead of planning what’s next.

When what’s next germinates in the fertile soil of what’s now, the present and the future both get a whole lot brighter.

Have you ever travelled and gotten some wisdom nuggets to bring home with you? What lifestyle tidbits from other cultures have you incorporated into your own life? What have you noticed?


By Kate Northrup

Practice Being Present with What’s Now Instead of Planning What’s Next

 


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Living on the Edge….of Freedom?

“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles

For some reason about a week a week ago, I realized by blogging was suffering. Sometimes it was due to rushing to post an article and tossing some ideas out to quickly. I took a few days off from blogging hoping my writing process would become fresh again. After all, attempting to post material daily isn’t as easy as it appears.

After I wrote another blog, I still wasn’t satisfied. Then it hit me. It’s tough to describe, but once you become accustomed to holding back and censoring your own thoughts; it tends to become a habit. It hinders you from your doing best work.
Once I realized the problem (fear), I experimented by writing a blog without fear of retribution. I was stunned by how powerful my posts became instantly. It turns out this stifling style affected my writing for some time. I hadn’t felt this much writing energy since my first book.
Part of the problem was listening to other people’s advice: “You better watch out” or “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” No you wouldn’t, you sell yourself short daily by not taking chances. You’ll complain, cry or through a temper tantrum, but you will never stand-up for yourself or others.
Besides, freedom of speech is a guaranteed right of our Constitution. If we can’t or won’t express ourselves is it any wonder that tyranny has become the norm?
While some people mean well by believing they’re offering “time tested advice” the truth is the advice originated from the Industrial Age mindset of “Don’t rock the boat”, “Keep your mouth shut” and my favorite- “Just do your job.” Those words of wisdom worked for 100 years in a system built upon conformity and compliance. In today’s new connection economy, we need to do the exact opposite of yesteryear.
Following my own advice, I was picked by Bloggers.com as one of the ‘Editors Pick of the Day’ out of thousands of bloggers. That little reward gave me the extra edge and confidence to open up my writing and write more effectively. I was asked to post a guest blog and by allowing my own blogs to resonate without hesitation my audience has increased some days by 25%. Kicking my fears out the door is making a difference.
If you want to find your edge, start dealing with your own state of denial. What holds you back from becoming a warrior and doing your best work? Discover the reason why you hesitate and confront it head-on. Lock that little monkey out of your head.
We only get one life here on earth and it passes quickly. Don’t sell yourself short and spend your time ‘just getting by.’ Life is too precious to waste your strengths, time and energy seeking mediocrity. Worse yet, you may never know your true calling!
By  Jim Carver
 


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Nine Thousand Names of Freedom

The Nine Thousand Names of Freedom

Aren’t Some Websites Stars of Freedom Dotting the Vast

Night-sky of Ignorance and Obfuscation? —And

Web-servers Dot the Miles and Miles of Fibre, and Twinkle

with Knowledge and Information?

“As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. There is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged. And it is in just such a twilight that we must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.” —William O. Douglas.

* * *

“This is a slightly unusual request,” said Dr. Wagner, with what he hoped was commendable restraint. “As far as I know, it’s the first time we have been asked to supply a dissident or ‘truth telling’ website with our Automatic Traversal Algorithm. I don’t wish to be inquisitive, but I should hardly have thought that your — ah — establishment had much use for such software. Could you explain just what you intend to do with it?”

“Gladly,” replied the dissident, adjusting his woolen beret and carefully putting away the mobile-phone with which he had been messaging his co-conspirators. “Your ATA can carry out any standard tree traversal involving up to one hundred million nodes, using the most efficient path. However, for our work we are interested in traversing actual routers and web-servers on the Net, not nodes of a data-structure. As we wish you to modify the code, the software will not only traverse nodes but also execute an instruction on each node.”

“I don’t understand . . .”

“Here’s my other b-card,” the dissident said, handing Wagner a business-card, a different one from that with which he had introduced himself.

“Hal L. Burton, Ph.D., President, Burton Microprocessor Research?” Wagner finished on a surprised note, reading the business-card. “I see — so that’s how you earn your money then, and I suppose freedissident dot-com is where you spend it.” Wagner warmed to his visitor. “You know, I, I . . .” he trailed off. After fifteen years of authoritarian rule under FEMA and the so-called ‘USA Patriot Act’, personal freedoms were severely restricted and it was not wise to express admiration for any dissident activity. Still, he said, “Actually, I visit freedissident dot-com quite often. You do great work, you’re gutsy folks.”

Wagner meant it. That website was only about three years old but had quickly developed a reputation for occasionally managing to expose government secrets and lies, and breaking suppressed news-stories. The government had tried to shut it down but had failed.

Burton smiled. “Thank you, Dr. Wagner. Been in and out of prison for it.”

Wagner smiled too, feeling a new respect for his customer. “Hoder. Call me Hoder.”

“Hoder? Nordic?”

“You’re right. Norwegian and German extraction. So tell me, how I can help you — in any way.”

“This is a project on which we have been working for the last three years — since freedissident dot-com was founded, in fact. It is perfectly in keeping with your line of work, so I think you will be able to provide the solution after I explain it,” Burton began.

“Ooo-kay.”

“It is really quite simple. It’s because of the CPU-virus and worm menace that started a few years ago. Remember Stuxnet? — that was the grandpa. My team has made a self-learning firmware patch, a one-time universal patch that takes care of several entire classes of these damn things. Nobody will have to care about any CPU virus or worm for several years, especially with new server-boxes, and therefore new chips, not being available anymore. We want to traverse the Web and apply the patch to every web-server and router.”

“Excellent idea!” Wagner was enlivened. “So you wish to start at triple-a dot-com and work up to, say, uh, . . . zygote dot-org . . .”

“Exactly–”

“. . . not that the actual process would be executed alphabetically,” mused Wagner thoughtfully.

He had seen the immense benefits of Burton’s plan at once; it was the need of the day, literally. Only personal desktop computers were available to Joe Blow; these machines were made such that they could not be used as web-servers. Server-class computers and routers were strictly regulated and were not available to the general public. Apart from the government and the armed forces, servers could be sold only to businesses and they too had to fill out a variety of forms to establish ‘need’, and even so, permits were granted to a minority of applicants. All the personal and independent media websites in the country ran on repaired and re-repaired machines that were over ten years old. Ten years ago, after coordinated hostage-takings and bomb-blasts in Peoria, which were blamed on foreign ‘terrorists’, the Department of Homeland Security had demanded the law regulating servers and routers, and had been given what it had asked for. Wagner knew that it was critically important to take good care of the old machines that the general public and individuals were using, and to minimize their vulnerability to viruses and worms. Personally, he suspected that the N.S.A. was behind many of the viruses that regularly crippled free-thought and dissident websites.

“You know how the Baldur chip works, right?”

“In general, yes,” Wagner nodded. He thought back to the second Bush-Cheney administration when the Baldur chip had been invented and mandated as an etched integrated-circuit on every CPU. First, it had been the V-chip. Then, the RFID chip. It had been only a matter of time before something like the Baldur chip would be proposed, be legislated for electronic devices, and become ubiquitous — every web-server and router carried it now. It provided the means to disable or lock, and re-enable or unlock, any device it was on-board on by means of one kilobit lock or unlock instructions and an accompanying and suitable five kilobit key.

“Because it’s not possible to install a firmware patch when the CPU is operating, what we plan to do is to make two passes: on the first pass, we disable the CPU and install our patch. And on the second pass, we attempt to upgrade to a different version of the firmware patch by applying a delta on the old patch for any CPU that needs it, and re-enable the CPU. I am afraid it would take too long to explain why we need this dual-pass system, even if I knew all the technical details behind it.”

“I’m sure it would,” said Wagner hastily. “Go on. I’m curious about, I mean, how are we supposed to crack those one-K instructions?” Not even any single government branch possessed those two one kilobit instructions’ bit-sequences. Each instruction was split up into three components. The Federal government was the custodian of the lower-order 512-bit-sequence, and the State governments and the Judiciary were the custodians of the higher-order bit-sequence with the 512 bits of each instruction equally split between them. This would be a first, if they pulled it off. And an underground effort, at that.

“We’ve hacked it,” Burton said with a trace of smugness. “That’s what we’ve been working on for the past three years. That, and the universal patch. But for the traversal, you’re the experts. That’s why I’m here.”

“Of course, to successfully unlock a chip, the re-enable code must be accompanied by— doesn’t the key . . . I mean that doesn’t it have to somehow mesh . . . in that there has to be a— an equivalence between the bit-wise ORs and the bit-wise ANDs between the one-K disable instruction and the key’s one-K chunks . . . ?” trailed off Wagner in a querying tone. He was not at all sure as to just how all this worked; he was a through-and-through Language Theory & Automata man. One or two of his specialists would certainly know this Baldur-chip business backwards, however.

Burton laughed. “I’m even more in the dark than you, but we’ve got that part nailed down. My boys are all set with the keys, the instructions, the whole shebang on that end. All we need from you is a guaranteed traversal of every node, every leaf, every router, every web-server on the Net in North America. And then they’ll be safe from these virus-making crazies.”

“Thanks to you.”

Burton smiled. “I wouldn’t say that. Thanks to us, if you must.” Shifting his weight to one side, he pulled out a chequebook from his hip-pocket. “There are just two other points—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Wagner replied, “Don’t even think about it, Hal — we’re in this together.” He smiled at Burton and rose to shake his hand.

* * *

Wagner stretched out, leaned back, and slid his hands behind his head. He contemplated the situation. This thing was straight out of left-field but he couldn’t have been happier. He had made it clear to Hal that his company would do the project gratis; he felt it was the least he could do. Hal had invited him to visit his FreeDissident operation the next evening and have a beer with him and his lieutenants, and Wagner was looking forward to it. He was thinking of pairing Greg and Chuck on this project. Not only were they his two most talented and reliable engineers, both were dedicated Constitution-First activists. In fact, it was as a result of their common activist interests that the two of them and one of his sons were becoming good friends. And personality-wise they made a classic complementary team: Greg was poetic, mercurial, visionary; Chuck was prosaic and pragmatic, a nuts-and-bolts professional.

* * *

The three seeds that had sprouted the vines that were now strangling the Web had been sown in the late nineties and the early 2000s. Firstly, recently declassified documents had revealed that the American power-elite had had a twofold interest in having the Pentagon and other governmental branches give MCI, then MCIWorldCom, preposterously over-priced sweetheart contracts. The first reason was to keep intact the U.S.A.’s largest InterNet backbone and prevent the chains of routers and servers from getting fragmented so as to retain a single point-of-control, and the second reason was to have financial leverage over the company so that governmental agencies such as the F.B.I. and the D.I.A. could access the routers and servers whenever they wanted to, to get information about whomever they pleased. In fact, to retain MCI’s dependence on governmental largesse and ensure the pliancy of its corporate officers, Bush-Cheney I had also doled out a very generous Telecommunications ‘reconstruction’ contract to that company after the illegal war against Iraq earlier in the century. Secondly, free-thought and dissident websites had come under not only scrutiny, but outright harassment; the F.B.I. and the Secret Service had used police-state tactics to bully website operators into giving them whatever information they had about their subscribers and surfers. Misusing FISA, which was unconstitutional to begin with, they would collect email-addresses and IP-addresses which they then used to keep tabs on, question, and detain individuals. Under direction from their corporato-capitalist masters, they had been especially hard on websites having to do with the Latin-American worker-peasant and the American social-justice movements. And thirdly, as the climax of a tragicomedy, the people themselves had asked the government actually to take away some of their Web freedoms! Unbeknownst to the public-at-large, governmental agencies such as the C.I.A. and the D.I.A. had been behind the explosion of child-pornography and financial crimes on the Web — Cybercrime — not for financial gain but for cynical, well-thought-out reasons; this was the first thrust of a three-pronged attack. The second thrust was the manufacture of a number of purported activist groups who had noisily demanded ‘Web regulations.’ They were funded by questionable money and many of the ‘activists’ were low-level governmental employees simply doing what their bosses had told them to do. And as the third, coldly treacherous, thrust, the potential and reality of Cybercrime had greatly been exaggerated and whipped-up by the corporate-controlled media. Yet again, the governmental agencies and the controlled media were acting at the behest of the plutocratic oligarchy to whom the Web was a threat because of the dissemination of truths and facts that they wanted to suppress, and because of the Web’s innate qualities which enabled common people and just-folks to come together and unite. As the plotters had anticipated, the general-public obligingly blundered into the trap like a herd of spooked cattle and lobbied the very people who were the brains behind the spate of Cybercrime — real and imaginary — to do the very thing that they wanted them to do — regulate the Web and take away Web freedoms. Subsequently, the legislation stemming from the Strasbourg conventions on Cybercrime from the beginning of the century had been grossly abused in the U.S.A. to limit Web freedoms. Worse, the internationalist power-elite had rigged up and used false-fronts such as the ‘World Summit for Information Society’ and the ‘Working Group on Internet Governance’ to restrict Web freedoms in other countries as well. The witch-hunt of Julian Assange and the shutting down of the WikiLeaks operation had been the logical and inevitable outcomes of the insidious and merciless cyber-throttling.

The root reason behind these machinations was the fact that the World Wide Web was that greatest of ‘unknown unknowns’ — a random techno-sociological mutation in an otherwise (mostly) ordered and controlled world; an ‘unknown unknown’ whose unforeseen birth and stupendous power to capture and exhibit the evasive and coquettish Truth had thrown off-course, and was hampering, the march towards that unholy concentration of wealth and power — the ‘New World Order’ — which the European-originated money-lending power-elite clans had so carefully been planning for centuries.

* * *

The view from the office tower’s viewing deck was vertiginous, but in time one gets used to anything— almost anything. Greg Hanley, standing at the secured railings, was enjoying the view of the sunset over the Potomac, though he was not as impressed by the new 50-storey tower itself, up the street from the Kennedy Center. Chuck and he were working on this project on the top floor where Burton’s company had given them a spacious office, big enough for half-a-dozen people. Chuck had started a build of the software after Greg had checked in — submitted — a few new files of code to the repository — a special storage area on disk. In another three days they’d be done. The live run was scheduled for the wee hours of Monday — at 4 a.m. Eastern. That was because the least Internet traffic in any three-hour interval, which was about the length of time they would need, was between 4 a.m. and 7 a.m. Eastern on Mondays.

This, thought Greg, was the most satisfying thing that had ever happened to him. Chuck and he were both volunteers with an activist movement, ‘Winter Soldiers & Rainy-day Patriots’ — an apt twist of a two-century-old American concept — to restore (true) Republican government, and so the nature of this project and the linkage with freedissident.com gave him a good feeling. His thoughts drifted to the erosion of civil liberties. Besides a question of ideals, he had personal reason to be concerned: he had been detained in prison for a fortnight without any charges, simply for submitting a withering short-story about the government to a publisher — someone there had probably ratted on him. A number of laws contradicting and subverting the still-constitutionally ‘guaranteed’ free-speech were on the books now. These anti-constitutional laws had various sections — ‘dissent,’ ‘incitement,’ ‘sedition,’ and so forth. They had either been in existence since 2001 by way of un-American legislation or had been enacted during Bush-Cheney II or Clinton-Lieberman I. He was a boy when it had all started, but he knew that except for a few (true) patriots who invoked Washington, Jefferson, and Franklin, the majority of the populace, apathetic and afraid, had not bothered to challenge those repressive Totalitarian laws.

Screenchot of USA PATRIOT Act (German Wikipedia)

Screenchot of USA PATRIOT Act (German Wikipedia) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Greg heard the heavy wooden door slam in the wind as Chuck joined him on the balcony.

“Dude! Clean compile,” Chuck said. The software they had been working on that day had built successfully.

“Sounds good! Seems like we’ll beat the schedule. You told Shrub?” ‘Shrub’ was their private nick-name for Sam W. Jaffe who was nominally partnering them from Burton’s team. On their very first day, he had delivered a near-monologue about a documentary he had seen on the San ‘Bush-men’ of the Kalahari Desert. He had gone on a little too long for Greg’s liking, and had finished by telling Greg and Chuck that, in his opinion, ‘the Bush-man’s way of life is thoroughly depraved, degenerate, and inhuman.’ After that, Greg had started referring to him as ‘Shrub.’

“Yeah, he’s happy. I’m likin’ this so far. Wanna go get some coffee?”

“Sure.”

They walked back into the office and out to the corridor.

“You seem kinda . . . a little subdued . . .” ventured Chuck after a couple of minutes, as they were descending in an elevator.

“Thinking about this project made me think of the Unpatriotic Act, FEMA, and all the shit that came after that,” said Greg, and cut loose with a few obscenities. “It’s perverse to have called something so un-American and anti-patriotic the ‘Patriot Act’!” he said loudly, and punched the elevator door as it was opening.

“Well, one reason was to fool the public into buying it, so that they would not protest against it,” said Chuck matter-of-factly. “Doing anything on New Year’s?” he asked hurriedly as they turned left at the Christmas tree in the main lobby, wanting to get Greg’s mind off the USA Patriot Act.

“Maureen and I are just getting together with a few friends. And being grateful we’ve made it a quarter of the way into the century . . . without blowing everyone up, despite all the carnage and mayhem. Hey, you and Janie, if you don’t have plans, why don’t you join us?”

“Aw-ight, thanks dude. I’ll tell her. Guess she’ll give you guys a call,” answered Chuck as they entered the cafeteria.

He picked up a bar of chocolate from the packaged foods rack. “Wonder which of the F3 this benefits,” he groused.

“Huh? F3? — what are you talking about?” Greg said, not comprehending.

“Dude! You mean you don’t know?! The F3 — that’s Cargill, ADM, and Monsanto — they’ve a lock on all foodstuffs. Throughout the Americas. Happened during Clinton-Lieberman II. Not even a giant like McDonald’s gets its beef now without it passing through one of the F3.” Chuck kept up with the minutiae of economic developments much more than did Greg who was naturally inclined to ideologies and abstract concepts.

“Oh!” Greg sighed and shook his head in disgust. He thought back to the second Hillary Clinton – Joseph Lieberman administration and the merger of the two political parties. Soon after their increasingly lockstep economic policies had become undeniable and obvious, the show ‘Democracy’ had been dispensed with and the Democrats and the Republicans had made their marriage official. It had ostensibly been ‘to foster inclusiveness, put an end partisanship, and bring all Americans together under one tent.’ Exalted sentiments, tawdry reasons . . . and Totalitarian phraseology. The new combined party — the aptly-named ‘Federalists’ — pointed to the disorganized, little-known Constitution Party as evidence of a thriving ‘Democracy’. Standing at the packaged-foods rack, Greg subconsciously smiled wryly and shook his head in the midst of his ruminations that were triggered by Chuck’s little nugget, causing one or two people nearby to stare at him. The strange part of it all was that even though large bodies of voters would agree amongst themselves that they had voted for a Constitution Party candidate, that candidate would somehow almost never win the election. The Max McKinney crisis of the previous election was evidence of that. But the strangest thing was that frequently the media’s ‘scientific polls’ too would be at odds with an honest person’s investigation of reality. Everyone and their dog would tell you that they had voted for populist, popular activist Green, yet the ‘polls’ would show capitalist, well-connected businessman Gray holding a ‘twenty percent lead.’ It was as if normal, sane people were saying one thing to their friends and families but saying something else to these ‘pollsters’. . . .

* * *

Greg and Chuck were back at work the next day, taking a break after finalizing and testing the component that would hit every Domain Naming Service server by reading off all the entries for the traversal while eliminating duplicates, when Chuck noticed Sam at the doorway of their office. “Hey, Sam, what’s up,” he called out. Sam was not a software engineer, he had simply shown them the disk-directories on which they could find the anti-virus and anti-worm firmware patches, the necessary lock and unlock bit-sequences, and the algorithms that would generate the five-kilobit keys; and had issued appropriate permissions to their user-ids so they could access all the disk-directories that they would need to. It seemed he was a systems administrator and their liaison with Burton; all the design and coding work for the pre-fabricated components that Greg and Chuck would use had been done by some engineers who had taken off on holiday but were available should they be needed.

“Howdy guys,” replied Sam, walking into their office. “Hal just sent me a secure message. He’s not sure if you’ve been told but absolute secrecy is essential for this project; if any governmental agency — any snoop — gets wind of it, they’re going to try to halt it, sabotage it, whatever.”

“You bet,” answered Chuck. “Hode — that’s our president, Dr. Hoder Wagner — told us. Yeah, I can imagine that the Pentagon warlord, the A-G — all those Anti-American dictatorial creeps — would not like web-servers and routers getting virus and worm-proofed.”

Their concerns were well-founded. For the past two decades, the government had maintained a network of informants within the general public, reminiscent of the long-gone U.S.S.R.

“Mum’s the word,” Greg chimed in. “So, where does Dr. Burton keep himself?”

Sam made no answer. Greg and Chuck stared at him, then glanced at one another.

“He usually, er, he has another concern that . . . that he spends his, um, time at,” said Sam uncertainly.

“If you mean freedissident dot-com, we know about it,” said Greg.

Sam looked relieved. “Well, I wasn’t sure you did. Yes, these days he’s usually over there. That setup is in a basement, a townhouse near Tysons Corner.” Tysons Corner was an expensive commercial and semi-residential area in Northern Virginia, about half-an-hour’s drive from Washington D.C.

After a pause, Chuck said, “It’s odd that they — the government — didn’t take down at least some part of the Web by fiat. What I mean is that I’m surprised they haven’t really tried.”

“I suppose they know that . . . that if they messed with the backbone or the routers, the Web would go underground,” offered Sam. “People possess routers and web-servers. Activists would create an alternate mini-Web . . . like a bits-and-pieces Web.”

“You’re right, we could patch up something, hmmm . . .” Greg mused. “Yeah, one-oh-nine-B, cable hookups, plain old copper . . . all underground,” he continued; he was thinking out loud more than talking to Sam. “Though I wouldn’t have thought that they’d, I mean the Feds, woulda been able to think around that curve,” he finished, addressing Sam now.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to your work,” Sam said, walking to the door. “The Web is a prized freedom and this project is important. In fact, it should have been done years ago — previous generation should’ve taken care of it.” Sam winked at them conspiratorially as he left their office.

“Shrub’s a funny guy,” said Chuck. “But he’s awright.”

“The previous effin’ generation was complacent. Complacent! Those dumb-asses kept blabbering about America being the most free country in the world even though that wasn’t true and even as our freedoms were gradually being . . . being chopped down, like a bloody forest being clear-cut,” said Greg, turning back to his computer. “Our freedoms are like the species: once plentiful, now declining.”

“Nice, that’s a good analogy, partner. Hey, how many species are there?” enquired Chuck. Responding to his own question, he continued, “After these climate-change-related extinctions, I think there’s, hmm . . . The Nine Billion Names of God . . . I mean, er, names of God’s creations,” he corrected himself, having taken a stab at flowery speech and felt embarrassed at the results.

“Uh, not billion, but million,” Greg said. “Nine million species.”

“Oh, yeah . . . ‘scuse me!” Chuck laughed at his mistake. “Though our freedoms have vanished at a rate far faster than the species,” he mused, on the same bent. “Ya know, I hacked into a Fed server one night and hit paydirt.”

“Welcome to the club,” grinned Greg. “But what do you mean, ‘paydirt’?”

“Yeah, was gonna tell you — it had a bunch of Top Secret white-papers and research reports. One was about freedoms, I’ll never forget that one. A complete list, and then some, of all the freedoms that man has and has had. Sociologists have determined that there’s precisely nine thousand freedoms.”

“Like?” prodded Greg curiously, swivelling in his chair to face Chuck.

“We-e-ell, it had all types of . . . of details; stuff about Paine and Mill and Nietzsche, and sociometrics and ethnograms and biostatistics . . . and I don’t know what — government’s technocrats have waded through all kinds of crap. They’ve concluded that 21st century humans have, or can have, exactly nine thousand freedoms. Like, just take one freedom, Communication. From plain talking to coded speech to music to . . . um, yes, ritual gift-giving to, what was it . . . gypsy-camp markers to smoke-signals, would you believe we have, if I recall correctly, exactly six-hundred and-seventeen modes of Communication? At least that’s what that research report says.”

“Six-seventeen? What were some of the others? I mean the other modes of Communication?”

“Gawd, I dunno. I remember they’ve, like, enumerated different ‘elemental’ freedoms within . . . what was it, a ‘group-level’ freedom, and those are within a ‘top-level’ freedom. Like ‘eye movements,’ ‘head movements,’ aah . . . yes, ‘muscle tone,’ ‘foot shifting,’ ‘finger-tapping’ and so on fell under ‘Body Language,’ which itself falls under a ‘top-level’ freedom, ‘Communication.’ Man, it’s freaky, I tell ya. Supposed to be a ‘research report’, but what with its different volumes it’s really like a book. It’s over three thousand pages.”

Sam appeared in the doorway of their office, looking a little flushed. “Hey, guys. Just on the news. The invasion got underway.”

“Oh, great! Now we’re killing Norwegians!” exclaimed Greg, opening a web-browser and going to news.yahoo.com.

“What’s the government-controlled media gonna call this? After all the ‘Oil Wars’, now the ‘Water Wars’?” muttered Chuck morosely.

* * *

Chuck was fixing a minor bug when Greg walked back into their office holding a couple of coffee cups. They had had another productive day; it was late afternoon and Greg had gone downstairs to get some coffee. “What’s that lying by your keyboard?” he asked, as he handed Chuck a cup. “Is that . . . mistletoe?”

“Um, yeah,” answered Chuck sheepishly.

Seeing Greg’s querying expression, a sly, insinuating grin spreading on his face, Chuck continued, “Hey, I found it in my pocket! I don’t know — perhaps it fell in . . . perhaps Janie put it there. So what?” he ended on a petulant note.

Greg clapped Chuck on the shoulder and laughed out good-naturedly at his defensiveness, setting Chuck laughing too.

“So nothing . . . dude!” he said, in a friendly way. “That first dynlib we built, the one for the disable-and-patch, it’s still just ‘oh dot d-n-l.’ We needed a name for it. I’ll call it ‘Mistletoe’.” Greg was referring to the dynamic-library which would, at run-time, disable or lock the CPUs on the first-pass and apply the anti-virus/anti-worm patch.

They turned back to their workstations, still working but easing off for the day.

“Damn!” said Chuck suddenly. “Hey, we gotta stress-test that random key-sequence generator I wrote before we leave for the day.” Glancing at the time, he continued, “Oh hell, Greg, Hode will be here soon. We should’ve started testing it earlier today.”

“Already banged the hell out of it. It’s good to go.”

“Oh . . . you did? Cool! Ya know, I wonder though that there’s no test-team. I mean what’s Hode thinking, and that guy Burton? We’re testing each others’ stuff. Should’ve had a couple of good QA guys.”

“Well . . . I suppose Hode knows that what we write doesn’t need testers,” said Greg with a touch of conceit. Grinning and crooking an eyebrow at Chuck, he continued, “I mean, in these past few projects, how many bugs — I mean material defects — have been found in what you and I have written? All that’s happened is that the QA guys have wound up getting an inferiority complex because they couldn’t find a single, real bug!”

Chuck smiled and shook his head, and both of them ended up laughing at Greg’s hot-shot ego-stoking. Though egotistical, his vanity was not misplaced; neither was Chuck’s caution: in the three projects that they had worked on together, the testers actually had felt dispensable — Greg and Chuck were not only exceptionally talented, they were also very careful with their coding and debugging. Yet the lack of an independent, professional Quality Assurance unit in any software project considerably increased the chances of a calamitous defect being discovered post-deployment — when the software went ‘live.’

After some time, Greg rose from his chair and stretched. However, with the first step he took, he stumbled, and awkwardly and noisily toppled across a chair. Startled, Chuck got up. Grasping the edge of the table, Greg got back on his feet and voiced an oath or two.

“Dude! You okay?” enquired Chuck. “You know I’ve seen you do this before . . . like, stumbling, lurching — maybe there’s a balance problem?”

“Yup, there is. Inner-ear problem. In fact, that’s what saved me from my — ah — ‘elective service’,” replied Greg, holding on to the table and grimacing at the words ‘elective service.’ “Not that I’d have enlisted, I’d rather rot in prison than kill innocents abroad.” Except for the spoilt brats of the super-wealthy and powerful, who somehow received unlimited deferments or took refuge in the National Guard, all males had to enrol compulsorily with the armed forces. The draft was back in force in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Except that it was not called ‘the draft’ any more. It was called ‘Elective Patriotic Service.’ Such Orwellisms were consistent with the by-then usual government practice of redefining old terms and inventing new ones to befog the minds of the people.

“Oh — okay.” Chuck looked on with some concern as Greg settled himself in his chair. “I was deferred because of my sciatica. Same here; I’d have chosen prison over getting brainwashed by the armed forces into massacring other peoples.”

He went on, slowly, “Ya know, it’s the armed forces themselves who shoulda bailed us out of this horror. Before it got to this point.” He was voicing a thought more than talking to Greg, blankly gazing into the distance.

“I can’t understand why the national guard, the army — they all . . . they all attack us, arrest us, when we simply demonstrate,” said Greg. “Are they crazy? Just for holding up signs?! Don’t they understand that we’re doing it for them besides for us? They’re the ones who get traumatized and sick and maimed for life, if not killed, in these wars and invasions!”

“That’s the way it goes — you know,” Chuck replied softly, resignedly. “The oligarchy and the Zioneocons, they make sure to recruit Afros and Hispanics from poor neighbourhoods, and those they call ‘hicks’ and ‘trailer-trash’. They’re expendable — cannon-fodder — to the powers-that-be.”

After a moment of silence, Greg said passionately, “Yes. Young guys all of them, and what a waste. Those stupid, stupid lame-brains. They’re made to feel special by being told they’re heroes, by being given their purple hearts and silver stars. Heroes on their two-bit military pensions, with amputated limbs, strange illnesses. And shattered consciences . . . or, or brutalized humanities from the horrors they perpetrate on innocent humans. But those corporate plutocrats and Zioneocons — the scum of humanity — they make their millions off those wars and laugh all the way to the bank.” Though conscientious and a true patriot as was Chuck, Greg was seldom quite so bitter.

Chuck said nothing; he knew that staying on the subject would only get Greg wound up. Greg was right, he thought. The public had at last realized that the mega-corporation’s main function was simply to be a front behind which the super-wealthy and the privileged few hid to further their narrow interests and accumulate ill-gotten wealth, and that the ‘humanitarian’ and ‘pre-emptive’ wars had been nothing other than wars of loot and plunder for American corporate officers, stake-holders, and Zioneocons. Those ‘pen for hire’ writers who had sung to their tune earlier in the century had been rewarded with book contracts, positive publicity by the corporate-controlled media, and outright payoffs disguised as ‘grants’. But the few courageous writers who had exposed the truth had seen their works damned with faint praise or trashed altogether. And the writers themselves had had their names smeared and been hit with ruinous lawsuits; and those residing overseas had even been murdered by U.S. puppet-regimes or C.I.A. hit-men. Chuck shook his head as he gazed vacantly at his monitor, lost in his thoughts. Murdering writers had become a frighteningly commonplace activity for the American government after they, in concert with Royal Dutch Shell, had murdered Nigerian author Ken Saro-Wiwa early in the century. Neither had had to face the consequences of their crime, for the American people had remained blissfully ignorant and unconcerned. They systematically had been deceived by the controlled media into believing that Arabs, Afros, drugs, ‘terrorists’, and other such hobgoblins hiding in the bush were the enemy, so as to divert their attention while the power-elite and the Zioneocons had been proceeding stealthily with their treacherous conquest of the U.S.A. and its economic structures and financial systems, all the while subverting the ideals of the founding fathers. American citizenry had finally woken up to reality, but it was nearly too late now. . . .

Chuck’s thoughts were suddenly but poetically interrupted by Greg; still in a fit of passion, he burst out in declamatory tones: “You would not tell with such high zest, to children ardent for some desperate glory, That old Lie! Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori!” He spat the words, with venom and bitterness.

Startled for a second time by Greg in twenty minutes, Chuck began “What was th—” when the door opened. It was Wagner.

“Hello, men,” he said, briskly walking into the room. “Now there’s a set of domains we don’t want to hit,” he said, coming up to them. “No dot-gov or dot-mil sites and apart from those, the ones written on this list. Doable, right?”

He showed them a printout; they looked at it. It had several hundred host-names or ‘domains’. Many of them were easily recognizable as being those of the largest and most powerful corporations and the rest were those of large corporate-controlled media, wealthy political foundations, and such.

“Can-do,” said Chuck, brow furrowed. “Just curious why.”

“Talked with Hal earlier today; he brought up a good point. We don’t want to virus-proof the government’s or military’s computers! And if these giant transnationals or big-media get hit with viruses and go down for a while, screw ’em,” Wagner said with distaste.

“Oh yeah — cool!” replied Chuck. Greg grinned and nodded approvingly.

“Good. I just emailed it to both of you; encrypted of course. Stick it where needed. So, you guys ready? Meeting starts in thirty minutes.”

“So? How goes it?” Wagner asked as they walked up to the elevators.

“How goes it? Great!” said Chuck. “To be honest, Hal’s guys have done all the donkey work. Greg and I have the easy part and we’re ahead of schedule. Web’s gonna get vaccinated now, thanks to the Baddler — I mean the Baldur chip. Jeez, what a weirdo name — why, why would they call it that!”

“It’s the name of some god . . . North European, perhaps; a god of beauty, light, and stars, I think,” Greg said, trying to be helpful, interpreting Chuck’s rhetoric literally. “And that’s apropos — you know, aren’t some websites stars of freedom dotting the vast night-sky of, of ignorance and obfuscation? . . .and web-servers dot the miles and miles of fibre, and . . . twinkle with knowledge and information.”

“That’s pretty, Greg,” nodded Chuck appreciatively and Wagner concurred.

Greg chuckled and said that he hadn’t meant for it to come out the way it did as they entered an elevator.

* * *

“It’s goin’ good — mistletoe’s, like, hitting the Baldurs,” said Chuck, looking at his monitor, evidently unwilling to accept the fact that poetic speech was Greg’s forte, not his. He was referring to the first pass which he and Greg had set off fifteen minutes earlier. He pushed off on his wheeled office-chair, away from his desk and back to the table nearby.

Greg, Chuck, and Sam were having coffee and doughnuts in the office, a very early breakfast. They had reached the office by 3:45 a.m. on Monday and had set off the live run at four.

“Let’s see what the latest is from Norway . . . and also how that standoff with Brazil is developing,” said Greg, turning to his computer and bringing up a web-browser on his monitor.

“You guys think and talk a lot about wars and stuff,” commented Sam.

Greg looked at Sam and then looked through him. His face broke into a half-smile, a joyless smile; his eyes communicated the pain born of a compassionate humanity and carried a jadedness unnatural to their age of thirty-two years. He spoke very softly. “Sam, we Americans have been talking of warfare and dealing in wanton wickedness for over a century. We wouldn’t have to be talking about it and confronting it now if folks at the beginning of only this century hadn’t gotten things as totally out of hand as they did.”

Nobody replied.

“You know,” said Chuck, changing the subject, “I wonder why they asked us to randomize the keys the way they did. I mean, all the CPUs are going to be disabled for what — two, three hours? Nobody’s going to be able to crack any one-K key in even months so we might as well have used the same key for every CPU.” Chuck sounded perplexed. He looked at Sam.

Sam looked at Chuck, tilted his head, and shrugged. “That’s what Dr. Burton and his chief programmer decided.”

“I suppose they had a reason,” said Greg. “Or maybe they just didn’t think of it. Anyway, we’ll find out when Hal comes in this morning — we can ask him.”

If he knows, if there was a reason,” said Chuck, still bemused.

“Speak of the devil. . .” said Sam as Burton walked in the door.

“Greg? Chuck? Pleased to meet you,” Burton said, pleasantly shaking hands with them. He gave each of them a business-card.

“Hal I. Burton, Ph.D.,” said Chuck, mis-reading the business-card.

“That’s ‘L’, not ‘I’,” corrected Burton.

“Oh! Yes, sorry. What’s the ‘L’ stand for?” Chuck asked amiably, trying to make small talk.

“My middle-name? Oh, that’s kind of embarrassing!” laughed Burton. “Blame my classicist parents! And their flights of fancy. But anyway, it’s Loki.”

“Huh! Loki. Never heard that name before.”

Greg, however, had. He frowned and smiled wryly to himself. ‘Baldur’. ‘Mistletoe’. And now ‘Loki’. A peculiar coincidence . . . eerie, in fact. . . .

Six military policemen silently entered the office and stood along a wall. Greg and Chuck, quite perplexed, stared at them, looked into their faces. Not that they found any variety or even individuality: each man had the blank, glazed, obedient face of an automaton who does as he is told; the face of an ever-increasing number of Americans, in truth.

“Change of plans, boys. We’re not starting the second pass this morning,” said Burton, as two men appeared in the dim corridor outside the door.

Greg and Chuck now looked at these two new arrivals. One of the men was elderly and squat and had a shuffling gait, the other seemed equally elderly but walked with a jaunty strut. They came into the office. Both men were remarkably ugly; their countenances bespoke the arrogance and corruption of unrestrained and untrammelled abuse of power.

“We are going to have to delay that second pass; indefinitely,” the ugly squat man said. Greg and Chuck realized with a sense of confusion that this new visitor was the Attorney-General, Sandler ‘Sandy’ Farm.

“And that’s strictly confidential, strictly confidential,” the ugly jaunty man offered, flashing that roguish grin he doled out like spare change to the fawning, vacuous hacks and flacks of the American media. He shook hands in a faux-friendly manner with Greg and Chuck. They were struck dumb, for this was the Secretary of War, Ron S. Field.

“After all, you are working for the Government of the United States of America so your absolute secrecy is required,” said Farm. His usually sullen — literally ashen — face was beaming, even cheery. “But I thank you gentlemen most sincerely for bringing this project to a successful closure.”

“I guess I can tell you now why we used different bit-sequences so as to manufacture unique five-kilobit keys for every CPU that’s being locked,” Sam said. He wore a smirk and it made him look both stupid and crafty at the same time. “Even if some bunch of idealists somehow cracks the standard re-enable instruction, it would take literally years of cracking for them to figure out the five-K key with which one particular CPU has been locked. And if they do, so what? You can’t use that same key to unlock any other — virtually any other — CPU.”

Chuck looked at Greg, not making full sense of it. Greg returned his gaze.

“You’re very smart engineers, breaking into government computers and reading our white-papers and research reports,” said Field. Nodding at Chuck, he continued, “If you had read that one all the way through — I mean ‘Mankind’s Nine Thousand Freedoms’ — you would have found out that here in America, fewer than several hundred freedoms now remain for the riffraff . . . I mean for the common man. The top-level freedom to think straight — ‘Unconstrained and Noise-free Cognition,’ they call it — that freedom’s, of course, the fundamental one, and it plus all its derivatives has been off the table for . . . what, over fifty years now.”

Everyone remained silent. Field went on, addressing both Greg and Chuck, “A small group of people have been working on this project to create voluntary free-slaves for more than two centuries — since shortly after the country was founded, in fact. It is somewhat alien to your idealistic way of thought. And the Web, now— ‘The World-Wide Web’ is the linchpin freedom.”

“The Web was the linchpin freedom, was the linchpin!” Farm shrieked, punching the air in quite an uncharacteristic spasm of excitement. “That’s why — Yes, yes! — I, I wanted to be here! . . . when i-i-it it-happened!” he babbled, and started laughing in a manner that was quite maniacal. His face was twitching and his eyes were bulging and glinting as he cackled uncontrollably.

“What . . . what do you mean?” asked Chuck, distracted and repulsed by Farm’s demeanour. He was still not comprehending, or perhaps not wanting to comprehend. Greg realized in a flash that there would be no second pass. They had been taken. He fell back limply in his chair.

Burton answered. His demeanour too had changed, though in a different way. His very face seemed to have undergone a transformation — as if a snake had moulted its old skin. He looked triumphant, but apart from that emotion, base cunning, greed, and evil had manifest themselves, as if settling into their rightful home after a necessary absence. “I’ll tell you what he means. The Web and the Internet started off as the ARPANet. It was not meant for— and I’m not even sure how . . . the rabble managed to get it. But we know how to scaremonger the little people, we know how to control you, even if the process is slow and gradual. We’re the rulers, we want the Internet back, and this time we’ll keep it for ourselves. Forever,” he said, leaving nothing to interpretation.

“All right,” said Field, now wearing a cold, disdainful smile. “Time to clear out. You’ll be debriefed at a location in Fort Meade.”

“Hoder’s waiting there,” said Burton, smiling the smile of the serpent.

Someone switched off the lights. The room was now lit only by the corridor lighting seeping in and the glare of six or so computer monitors.

Chuck walked a step or two past Greg, and started to whistle but gave it up immediately. This roomful of hostile strangers silhouetted in the dim light of the monitors did not encourage such ebullience. Greg remained seated, he felt light-headed and nauseous. There was one thing whose loss he was never going to be able to get used to. . . .

At a signal from Burton, two military policemen walked up to Chuck and Greg to escort them out.

Chuck glanced at his watch. “Should take only an hour more,” he murmured over his shoulder to Greg. Then he added, in an afterthought, “Wonder how many hosts have been hit? It should be halfway through about now.” He felt a sense of desolation, a stark desolation, as he said that.

Greg didn’t reply so Chuck turned around to see why. Just a moment earlier, Greg had swivelled his chair to a nearby workstation, opened a web-browser, and typed in ‘news.yahoo.com’. Chuck could just see his face, a pale, drained oval staring at the monitor.

“Look,” whispered Greg, and Chuck looked at the monitor. (There is always a last time for everything. Even the Web.) Well knowing that all was lost, Greg had acted on emotion in bringing up that website, just for the sake of looking at it once more. But it was not to be. The familiar white-and-blue home-page loaded only partially before the web-browser froze —

‘Error: Server not responding.’

Across America, without any fuss, the Web was shutting down.

* * *

“Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.” —Arthur C. Clarke.

http://voices.yahoo.com/the-nine-thousand-names-freedom-10189385.html?cat=44

Like most things, the internet has brought both good and bad, openings and limitations, problems and opportunities.  What do you think will be the future?